Another Sunday but this was a weird one. I headed to church listening to Bach’s cantata BWV 166. Text for movement two goes like this,” I will think about heaven and not give my heart to the world”. What should we think about?
I was not into worship at all. Good sermon on Ephesians 6:18 but not for me today. I suppose I know little about worship. And ironically worship was what we talked about in Sunday school. A bunch of things were said. Things like:”worship is about God and not about us”, “everything is worship”, “worship is all consuming act to an all consuming God” and “true worship is exciting and not boring”. You know what I am just not into it. I think these concepts are too high sounding for me. To me worship is an act of obedience, it is not about us, yet it is about us. It is about us just doing what God pleases but not necessary understanding the meaning, feeling excited and even engaging. It is more like an imperfect act from an imperfect people towards a perfect God who treasure our imperfection. (Did I really say that?)
Today my worship came from the following three moments.
1. I briefly spoke with Mr. C. and he said something about coming back later for the second service. I watched his hunched back as he walked away and feeling sad not being able to have him worshiping with us today.
2. Just bantering with the students and trying to retrieve a lost frisbee from a tree.
3. A blessing from C, who wished God fills me all day and all the time. I lost the exact wordings but I can remember the Spirit.
As for the “official” worship, well, it was just the “official” worship, not the real worship.
