hmm…

I came across this recently: (pls do not ask me why!!)

http://www.wilk4.com/humor/humorc4.htm

Top 10 Christian Pick-up Lines

I just don’t feel called to celibacy.
Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?
I don’t see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W. Smith.
What do you think Paul meant when he said, ‘Greet everyone with a holy kiss’?
You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa. (DO NOT get this confused!)
You know, I’m really into relationship evangelism.
I’m pretty flexible–I don’t think a woman should be submissive on the first date.
Before tonight, I never believed in predestination…
Just looking at you makes me feel all ecumenical.
I hear there’s going to be a love offering tonight.

Top 10 Lines Christian Women Use to Break-up

I’m sorry, I’ve found someone more spiritual.
I’m sorry, it’s just not God’s will.
I feel called to the ministry very soon and very far from you as soon as possible.
I’m sorry, it could never work. I’m a sanguine and you’re a phlegmatic.
God loves me and must have a better plan for my life.
You know, I feel like I’m dating my brother.
At least I got a lot out of our Bible studies together.
You need someone with lower standards.
I think we should just be prayer partners.
I do love you, but it’s just agape now.

I add a few of my own:

I bet you look great in fig-leaves. (Expected response: slapx2)

Do you want to help me fulfil my calling to the ministry? I am finishing my degree in divinity; all I need now is a wife.

In order to prevent me from going to hell, you must help me to stop my impure thoughts towards you. You must marry me. (Serious theological and logical faults)

My sister, you have a big problem, you have a sinful body; but don’t worry I am here to share your burden of sin with you. (Expected response: Bad boy, really bad boy, slapx10)

You have the gift of seduction; I am willing to let you exercise that gift on me. (Thanks YL for the inspiration)

Go to KFC and then hold up the drum stick you just finish and say:” bones of my bone flesh of my flesh.” (Expected response: “you are an idiot”)

Do you want to study the Song of Songs together?

“Let us study theology together. I am sure that with our books open before us, there will be:
more words of love than “agapeo” and “phileo”;
more insights into erotology than neo-orthodox theology;
more thoughts of passion than hermeneutic question;
more merry acts of affection than Calvin’s theory of predestination;
more melody of adoration than eschatological speculation. ”
(Inspired by Abelard and Heloise, look it up, very interesting love story of a medieval theologian, the story actually has ramification on his theology, expected response: say what?)

When someone drinks from a water fountain or drink anything for that matter, it helps if her name is Rebecca too:
“As Rebecca drew from the well,
The servant thought she was swell,
Now you are drawing from a new well,
Let us weave our love into a fresh tale”

On another note: I finally killed Queen Dedrianna and freed the people of Arulco last night. It was really exhilerating.

Advertisements

No comments yet»

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: