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This week we read some entries from a blog and practiced journal writing. (The instructions I gave were to think of event/events that come to us during the reading/quiet time and write our reflections on it/them.) It really was an exercise in reflection. I believe reflection is key to working out our spirituality, it is a step to align our thinking (thus values) to that of the revealed truth. The key is integrity to ourselves, courage to face our ourselves and ability to articulate how the reveal truth is translated into us. I include the links and my journal entry. (be sure to try the “Mind Sweep exercise, see “What was I thnking”.)

Ten ways to make today…

What was I thinking

Seeking God

From clutter to … 

As I was telling someone this week, most days in my life is confusion. This past week was no exception. I took a couple days off this week. Yes, to watch the World cup semi-final but mostly just to rest and read a bit. However, the rest did not really turn out to be true rest. Somehow, the joy of rest was not there and I was overwhelmed with temptation to just indulge myself. The words of C.S. Lewis keep coming back to me. I felt I had met all the demand God had for me during the last little while. I worked diligently and faithfully. I was a good son and a good husband. I did my best for the Sunday school. I even had a few days with great devotion. So today is my day I’ll do whatever I want. I was looking “to get on with its (natural self) own life and do what it likes”. I was an honest man who had paid his taxes and had leftover for his own. It turned out that did not make me happy. That was a bit of a surprise. Was I to start over and try harder again? I did not seem to want to. It seemed so hard. I really want to indulge once in a while. The world is telling me narcissism is normal; there is nothing wrong with pampering yourself. But then, I also want the heart warming experience when I experience God his wonder. My internal battle continues. I can only say I am grateful for the pull towards God still being strong after all these years.   

I went to do some investment maintenance. It turn out that I had some reserve money which come up to more than some people’s annual salary. That just did not seem right. And I dealt with them so causally. I dealt with them as it the possessions were my own. I did not like that. That seemed like greed to me. 

I went out on a hot day and I notice how woman fashion had changed. Temptress, once a dread word to describe a woman of ill reputation is the fashion statement of the day. It seems there is a conspiracy to change the “bad” into the “good” (at least blurred the line). The merging of moral principles is certainly not helping to make choices any easier. And it seems any day out in the sun is a dangerous one for man, because lust is fashionable.  

Someone sent me an e-mail telling me how good I had been in performing my duties. I was happy. I was very happy. I kept the e-mail. I knew there was nothing wrong to build confident by looking at your achievements. However, in the evening when I asked myself did I really think I did that by myself?  The answer is yes. Pride blooms when we believe we did it on our own. 

The entire division at work went to Wonderland for a company sponsored event. I did not go because I knew that would be an easy day at work. I really wanted an easy day at work. That would make this an almost perfect week at work. Then I received three different e-mails of work request at 9am. I cursed the e-mails, the people who sent them and the innocent computer. Lesson to be learned: slothfulness intention will only bring curses.  

Four out of seven deadly sins in a week, definitely not a bad week.

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